#18 - Bills Gates - White People Can Jump

#17 - Redneck Trolling 101

Ben, the internet troll he is, had of course already seen this image.

#16 - Deus Ex ‘The Missing Link’ Incomming

This post isn't so much about Ben knowing this DLC is coming out as it is about Ben still being stuck on the first boss of the game. It's like Eidos Montreal is mocking him.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution DLC ‘The Missing Link’ Incoming

Deus Ex: Human Revolution has taken gaming by storm and has garnered a very popular fan base that continues to explore the world that has been created by Eidos Montreal. They already have plans for their first story based DLC titled ‘The Missing Link’.



During the main story arc of Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Adam Jensen disappears for three days. Where could he have gone and what did he encounter? Well, now players will have those questions answered in ‘The Missing Link’. Stripped of his augmentations Adam must find out who and why he is being tortured and escape the facility where he will take on new enemies in an entirely new environment and encounter new allies. Players will be able to rebuild Jensen’s entire augmentation set. Are you ready to find out the missing link? Check out the trailer below.



The Missing Link will be available in October for Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and PC

#15 - The CDC's Emergency Preparedness & Response for the Zombie Apocalypse

http://www.bt.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

The following was originally posted on CDC Public Health Matters Blog on May 16th, 2011 by Ali S. Khan.

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

A Brief History of Zombies
We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident Evil), but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much? The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. Although its meaning has changed slightly over the years, it refers to a human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead. Through ancient voodoo and folk-lore traditions, shows like the Walking Dead were born.

A couple dressed as zombies - Danny Zucco and Sandy Olsson from the movie Grease walking in the annual Toronto Zombie Walk.

In movies, shows, and literature, zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids. Harvard psychiatrist Steven Scholzman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in Night of the Living Dead and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent. The Zombie Survival Guide identifies the cause of zombies as a virus called solanum. Other zombie origins shown in films include radiation from a destroyed NASA Venus probe (as in Night of the Living Dead), as well as mutations of existing conditions such as prions, mad-cow disease, measles and rabies.

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

Better Safe than Sorry

Some of the supplies for your emergency kit.

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

• Water (1 gallon per person per day)
• Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
• Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
• Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
• Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
• Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
• Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
• First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.

Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and one farther away.

1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

Never Fear – CDC is Ready

Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

To learn more about what CDC does to prepare for and respond to emergencies of all kinds, visit:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/cdc/orgs_progs.asp

To learn more about how you can prepare for and stay safe during an emergency visit:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/

To download a badge like the one above that you can add to your social networking profile, blog, website, or email signature visit:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies.asp

#10b - Yub Nub Song - We Barely Knew Thee

Original Empire Ending
Raped Empire Ending

I realize I'm a few years late on this but when Ben told me George Lucas got rid of the Yub Nub song I nearly kicked out our office window and jumped. Fuck you George Lucas. Let the Ewoks dance and sing asshole.

Ewok Celebration Info

Ewok Lyrics
Yub nub, eee chop yub nub;
Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,
G'noop dock fling oh ah.
Yahwah, eee chop yahwah;
Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,
G'noop dock fling oh ah.
Coatee chah tu yub nub;
Coatee chah tu yahwah;
Coatee chah tu glowah;
Allay loo ta nuv.
Glowah, eee chop glowah;
Ya glowah pee chu nee foam,
Ah toot dee awe goon daa.
*Coatee cha tu goo; (Yub nub!)
Coatee cha tu doo; (Yahwah!)
Coatee cha tu too; (Ya chaa!)
Allay loo ta nuv,
Allay loo ta nuv,
Allay loo ta nuv.
Glowah, eee chop glowah.
Ya glowah pee chu nee foam
Ah toot dee awe goon daa.
repeat *chorus

#14 - Insurance Billing Codes IN SPACE

http://boingboing.net/2011/09/12/medicare-billing-codes-for-injuries-resulting-from-spacecraft.html?dlvrit=36761

Jon Keegan, a designer for WSJ.com, tweeted at me today: "You will dig some of the crazy medicare codes in our searchable database. Injuries from collision in space." Jon, you are correct.

#13 - Back to the Future Part II Shoes to Become a Reality?

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=81830

We're still a few years away from October 21, 2015, the date that Michael J. Fox's Marty McFly traveled to in 1989's Back to the Future Part II and while it's highly unlikely that we'll get more than a dozen Jaws sequels before then, there's one element of that future that looks to be arriving early.

"Something big is coming soon," producer Frank Marshall Tweeted this afternoon, "Can't say anything yet. No one should know too much about their own destiny."

The cryptic film reference immediately inspired online theories ranging from a 3D re-release of the trilogy to a theatrical reboot of the first film. Luckily, the mystery was soon solved by sneaker blog Nice Kicks, which revealed that Nike is planning a special Back to the Future themed unveiling to take place tomorrow evening.

Soon thereafter, Marshall followed up with another Tweet that read, "Going to need a lot of hover boards," with a link to the video below, showing off racks and racks of the shoe design.

Official confirmation and details about the release should hopefully be available following tomorrow night's reception and unveiling.

#12 - Killer Crock...for Realz

Filipinos hunt 2nd killer croc after 1-ton catch

MANILA, Philippines—Relieved Filipino villagers threw a fiesta when they captured a one-ton crocodile, with about 100 people pulling the feared beast from a creek by rope then hoisting it by crane onto a truck. The party may have been premature. After the 20-foot (6.1-meter) saltwater crocodile was caught over the weekend, authorities said Tuesday an even bigger killer crocodile may lurk in creeks of the remote southern region. The crocodile -- weighing 2,370 pounds (1,075 kilograms) and estimated to be at least 50 years old -- is the biggest caught alive in the Philippines in recent years. Wildlife officials were trying to confirm whether it was the largest such catch in the world, said Theresa Mundita Lim of the government's Protected Areas and Wildlife Bureau. It was captured alive after a three-week hunt in Bunawan township in Agusan del Sur province, where villagers have been terrified. A child was killed two years ago in the township by a crocodile that was not caught, and a croc is suspected of killing a fisherman missing since July. Villagers witnessed a crocodile killing a water buffalo last month. Bunawan villagers celebrated after they caught the crocodile. "It was like a feast, so many villagers turned up," Mayor Edwin Cox Elorde said. Wildlife official Ronnie Sumiller, who has hunted "nuisance crocodiles" for 20 years and led the team behind the capture in Bunawan, said a search was under way for a possibly larger crocodile he and villagers have seen roaming in the farming town's marshy outskirts. "There is a bigger one, and it could be the one creating problems," Sumiller told The Associated Press by telephone from Bunawan, about 515 miles (830 kilometers) southeast of Manila. "The villagers were saying 10 percent of their fear was gone because of the first capture," Sumiller said. "But there is still the other 90 percent to take care of." Backed by five village hunters he has trained, Sumiller has set 20 steel cable traps with an animal carcass as bait along the creek where the first crocodile was caught and in a nearby vast marshland. Sumiller said he found no human remains when he induced the captured crocodile to vomit. He said he was also summoned by Bunawan officials two years ago after a huge crocodile attacked and ate a child from a capsized boat in the marshland. The crocodile was not found at the time. People in the farming town of about 37,000 people have been told to avoid venturing into marshy areas alone at night, Elorde said. Guinness World Records lists a saltwater crocodile caught in Australia as the largest crocodile in captivity, measuring 17 feet 11.75 inches (5.48 meters). Saltwater crocodiles can live for more than 100 years and grow to 23 feet (7 meters). Elorde said he plans to make the captured crocodile "the biggest star" in an ecotourism park to be built to increase awareness of villagers and potential tourists of the vital role the dreaded reptiles play in the ecosystem. Philippine laws strictly prohibit civilians from killing endangered crocodiles, with violators facing up to 12 years in prison and a fine of 1 million pesos ($24,000). The world's most endangered freshwater variety, crocodylus mindorensis, is found only in the Philippines, where only about 250 are known to be in the wild. About 1,000 of the larger saltwater type, or crocodylus porosus, like the one captured in Bunawan, are scattered mostly in the country's southern swamplands, wildlife official Glen Rebong said. Environment Secretary Ramon Paje said the enormous crocodile was captured because it was a threat to the community but added the reptiles remind that the Philippines' remaining rich habitats need to be constantly protected. Crocodiles have been hunted in the country by poachers hoping to cash in on the high demand in wealthy Asian countries for their skin, which is coveted for vanity products ranging from bags to cellphone cases.

#11 - George Lucas Once Hated Special Editions

http://savestarwars.com/lucasspeechagainstspecialedition.html

The Greatest Speech Against the Special Edition was from George Lucas

In 1988, the American motion picture industry went through a legal upheaval that went all the way to Congress. Ted Turner had purchased the rights to studio libraries, such as MGM and RKO, and was releasing classic films in colourized versions, to surprising success. Many of the directors of these films were still alive and protested this bastardization--but alas, they had no legal case. This inspired Hollywood to go to Washington. Directors like Steven Spielberg, James Stewart, Woody Allen, John Huston and George Lucas testified before Congress in order to enact legislation that would protect artists from having their work defaced as well as ensuring the public had access to classic films--their cultural heritage--in the original form. This was sought through entering the Berne Convention for the issue of Moral Rights, a law which exists in many European countries. The United States did eventually recognize the Berne treaty, but this wasn't extended to motion pictures because of their complex and collaborative nature. Hollywood had failed. Which is why George Lucas today gets away with altering the Star Wars films and suppressing their original forms--there was no law passed that would have stopped people like him.

His younger self, however, fought against the very things his future self would do, not even a decade later. In 1988, Lucas issued a statement before Congress. In it, he gives a very heartfelt and passionate speech about the importance of cinematic preservation, with a level of verve and anger that the reserved Lucas could have only found within himself through a prepared statement. He rails on copyright owners for distorting and altering films, and he highlights, more than once, that films belong to the public. Copyright owners are merely custodians, he argues, and it is to the public that cinematic heritage belongs. He urges Congress to enact law in order to protect American cultural heritage and preserve films as they were.
In August of this year, I wrote a lengthy article on the dearth of American film preservation law--I should have just let George Lucas write it!
He also offers an eerily prophetic warning: that technologies were on their way that would allow copyright owners to insert younger actors, alter the music and colour, and change scenes to suit the philosophic tastes of the moment, as well as making new digital negatives at the expense of the original version materials. In short, everything that Lucas would later do with the Special Editions, from the new musical sequence in Jedi, youthful Hayden Christensen replacing old Sebastian Shaw in the same film, Greedo shooting first out of political correctness, to the totally different colour scheme implemented in 2004. It also prefigures making the new Special Edition negative by cutting up the original negative, and then not releasing the original version except for the Laserdisc master from 1993. He saw all of this coming.

Other filmmakers offered compelling witness to Congress as well. "I do know this," stated screenwriter Bo Goldman. "I want my children and their children to see my movies the way they were written. When the Indian finally speaks in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest', I want him to say 'Juicy Fruit' and not 'diet bubble gum.' On the long shot of the ward, I want to see the old hallucinator dancing in the back, and on the pan I don't want it to stop before it reaches the poor, lobotomized soul behind the cage." He continued: "Remember the first time you went with your parents to 'Snow White', with your girl to 'Singing in the Rain,' with your children to 'E.T.' You have the right to see it that way and only that way forever." Steven Spielberg stated similarly, "Let generations yet unborn see the films produced by our film artists as they were released." He recalls how in war times, armies will often loot conquered nations, and that retrieving those stolen artworks occupies a real priority in post-war eras, demonstrating their cultural importance. "In a very real sense," he said, "the nation, which had paid the price for its culture, has an investment in the preservation of what it has paid for."
Someone else was in Washington too.

Speaking on that very same day, March the third of 1988, was George Lucas. Lucas here has never been as lucid and credible as this. It's a powerful speech and a very well reasoned one. It's the exact same thing I have been writing on this site and in other places for the last decade. So, in the most bizarre twist of fate that I could have imagined, in order to understand why it is important to preserve motion pictures as they were for future generations, the Star Wars trilogy in particular, I present the one and only George Lucas:
"My name is George Lucas. I am a writer, director, and producer of motion pictures and Chairman of the Board of Lucasfilm Ltd., a multi-faceted entertainment corporation.
I am not here today as a writer-director, or as a producer, or as the chairman of a corporation. I've come as a citizen of what I believe to be a great society that is in need of a moral anchor to help define and protect its intellectual and cultural heritage. It is not being protected.
The destruction of our film heritage, which is the focus of concern today, is only the tip of the iceberg. American law does not protect our painters, sculptors, recording artists, authors, or filmmakers from having their lifework distorted, and their reputation ruined. If something is not done now to clearly state the moral rights of artists, current and future technologies will alter, mutilate, and destroy for future generations the subtle human truths and highest human feeling that talented individuals within our society have created.
A copyright is held in trust by its owner until it ultimately reverts to public domain. American works of art belong to the American public; they are part of our cultural history.
People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as "when life begins" or "when it should be appropriately terminated," but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavor. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race.
These current defacements are just the beginning. Today, engineers with their computers can add color to black-and-white movies, change the soundtrack, speed up the pace, and add or subtract material to the philosophical tastes of the copyright holder. Tommorrow, more advanced technology will be able to replace actors with "fresher faces," or alter dialogue and change the movement of the actor's lips to match. It will soon be possible to create a new "original" negative with whatever changes or alterations the copyright holder of the moment desires. The copyright holders, so far, have not been completely diligent in preserving the original negatives of films they control. In order to reconstruct old negatives, many archivists have had to go to Eastern bloc countries where American films have been better preserved.
In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to become lost and be "replaced" by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten.
There is nothing to stop American films, records, books, and paintings from being sold to a foreign entity or egotistical gangsters and having them change our cultural heritage to suit their personal taste.
I accuse the companies and groups, who say that American law is sufficient, of misleading the Congress and the People for their own economic self-interest.
I accuse the corporations, who oppose the moral rights of the artist, of being dishonest and insensitive to American cultural heritage and of being interested only in their quarterly bottom line, and not in the long-term interest of the Nation.
The public's interest is ultimately dominant over all other interests. And the proof of that is that even a copyright law only permits the creators and their estate a limited amount of time to enjoy the economic fruits of that work.
There are those who say American law is sufficient. That's an outrage! It's not sufficient! If it were sufficient, why would I be here? Why would John Houston have been so studiously ignored when he protested the colorization of "The Maltese Falcon?" Why are films cut up and butchered?
Attention should be paid to this question of our soul, and not simply to accounting procedures. Attention should be paid to the interest of those who are yet unborn, who should be able to see this generation as it saw itself, and the past generation as it saw itself.
I hope you have the courage to lead America in acknowledging the importance of American art to the human race, and accord the proper protection for the creators of that art--as it is accorded them in much of the rest of the world communities."
Preach on, George, preach on. If only we had access to a time machine; we could really use a passionate advocate far up on the food chain. The full text of these statements, and others he made at the Congressional hearings will be made available in the resource section, as the quote above has been edited to remove less relevant material.
So, what happened to this man? How could he hatch plans to permanently alter his and other directors' films a mere half-decade later? This is especially troublesome as his big push in this speech, not quoted due to its irrelevance, is that only directors and the primary writers can agree to alteration of a film, and if one of them is dead the film is locked as it was; which would freeze Return of the Jedi, since director Richard Marquand died in 1987, and need to have Kershner and Kasdan be the decision-makers for Empire. However, I believe Lucas started down a slippery slope. In 1993, he wanted to add only a few enhancements to Star Wars, mainly the deleted scene with Jabba the Hutt. As the writer and director of the film, and as restoring material shot for the original production, he saw it as his prerogative to change the film. Indeed, even in 1988 he emphasizes that if a film is to be altered it must be at the filmmaker's choosing--he doesn't explicitly state how this can be reconciled with "preserving cultural heritage as it was," but he seems to imply that rights holders should continue to release the original versions out of respect for its history, which is a very reasonable stance.
However, the insertion of a couple new effects and a deleted scene to Mos Eisley slowly gave way to trying out new shots for the space battle as people like Dennis Muren got involved. Lucas then wanted to try new techniques as research for the prequels he had at that point begun to plan, and so many new changes were arbitrarily added. The negative was then discovered to have deteriorated massively, and so a full-out restoration was enacted, literally taking apart the film. At this point, by now 1995, he began to look at Empire and Jedi as the films reached new heights of renewed popularity that year. The project gradually ballooned. Perhaps he began to see the films as "his", as he would explain in years shortly later, conveniently forgetting his implicit assertion that Kershner and Kasdan should be arbitrers for Empire and that out of respect for the deceased Richard Marquand Jedi be left as it was. He at first began to speak about "his vision", and then how all the changes were always "meant to be" and therefore justified. When he began adding Hayden Christensen to Return of the Jedi in 2004 he wasn't even saying this anymore, he was just changing Marquand's film for the hell of it. But he had gradually worked his way up to doing that.
In any case, the Ghost of Lucas Past has been unearthed. From obscure Congressional transcripts his words echo down to us with importance and eerie relevance. I would like to think that George Lucas 1988 would not have approved of the current situation.

Citation: Lucas' statement comes from pp.482-490 of a document bearing the title The Berne Convention: Hearings Before the Subcomittee on Patents, Copyrights and Trademarks of the Committee on the Judiciary United States Senate. One Hundreth Congress. Second session on s.1301 and s.1971. February 18 and March 3, 1988. The statements from Spielberg and Goldman come from the same document. 'Documents provided by the U.S. Government Documents Collection federal depository at New York University Bobst Library'.
Big, big thanks to Peter Lopez for obtaining these documents for me, and the thorough digging he did in NYU library collections.
For further reading about the Berne Convention, and it's shortcomings, and additional information on the 100th congress of 1988 and the current state of film preservation law, see The Right to Cultural Heritage: Film Preservation and the Law.

#10 - George Lucas Hates Star Wars

If your response to this is a big, hearty "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" then you and Darth Vader have something in common:

Because that's what he's yelling now when he pitches the Emperor down the shaft. I'm afraid this is no joke -- several people/sites have gotten their review copies of the Star Wars Blu-rays in, and they're all saying the same thing. Oh, plus:

• CG Yoda is definitely in The Phantom Menace now, whether that footage I previously ran was old or not
• Obi-Wan's dragon call that scares off the Sand People is fucking insane
• R2-D2's rock covering on Tatooine is now physically impossible for him to get into
• Jabba's palace door is now ridiculously large
• EWOKS BLINK

If you can ignore how creepy that last change is -- and man, I expect it to be really fucking creepy -- and focus on the issues at hand, it's worth noting that Lucasfilm has not denied any of these changes, since they popped up on the interwebs last evening, so... yep. All true.

Can I get real for a minute? I think most people would agree this is a pretty terrible addition to make. Darth Vader's wordless betrayal of the Emperor has always been one of the original trilogy's most powerful moments, because you genuinely don't know what Vader's going to do, and you have to envision the turmoil going on underneath that mask -- which is so much more effective than him reliving his goofy "NOOOOOOOOOOO" yell from the end of Revenge of the Sith. This is a change, like so many of these Star Wars alterations have been, that has genuinely lessened the movies. They have made them worse.

Now, obviously George Lucas disagrees, and they're his damn movies. He can change them as much as he wants -- I understand that, and I genuinely don't begrudge him that. Honestly, if he wants to go in and redub everything so Luke and Leia are named Jeff and Snooki, he can. They're his. He's in charge.

So I'm not complaining about these changes. Honestly -- and this is what the George Lucas hater-haters don't understand -- is that most of us who freak out about this shit aren't really complaining about the changes. Oh, we may dislike them immensely, sure, but again, they're his damn movies. What we're upset about is Lucas' refusal to release the original Original Trilogy -- the way we saw it and loved from 1977-1997 -- in a decent quality format.

Yes, I know they were released on DVD, and let me explain why those don't count -- because they weren't anamorphic widescreen, which means two things: 1) the video quality wasn't up to the basic quality standards of 99% of DVDs released since the year 2000, and 2) they weren't formatted for widescreen TVs, so, say, if you had a 60-inch TV and put on one of those DVDs, the movie would actually only be 45-or-so-inches long. This would be acceptable for maybe something like Roger Corman's horrible Star Ward rip-off Starcrash, but not three of the most popular, highest-grossing movies of all time. It's worth noting that Starcrash has had a DVD release, and it was in anamorphic widescreen. When we complain, we complain that we can't get the Star Wars we saw and loved and sustained for 20 years with the same amount of quality as fucking Starcrash.

Now, is it our right to get the original Star Wars flicks, unedited, in decent modern quality on DVD or Blu-ray? No. Does George Lucas owe us these things? No. Do we deserve them? Well, I don't even know about that, but it would be nice to have the fucking option. If George Lucas is interested in pleasing his fans -- and honestly, there's not a lot of indication that he is -- I think he would give us the chance to own the non-Special Editions in the same quality as the Special Editions. After all, we're just not a tiny but vocal group -- even celebrities like Simon Pegg are losing their minds over this shit (check his Twitter feed). Plus, even non-Star Wars fans think most of these changes are dumb, so it's not like we're just bitching because the movies aren't like we remember them. We're upset because they are, to almost all audiences, worse.

But what's most galling is that George Lucas has spent so much of his post-Original Trilogy career trying to make movies, all movies, look and sound better. THX, Skywalker Sound, ILM -- all of these things were created to improve the quality of movies. The man clearly knows and cares about visual and sound standards for his films, and yet he purposefully released the non-fucked-with Original Trilogy in an inferior format, despite his own standards. That's malicious. And it's still fucking malicious. Having the choice between the Special Editions and a shit-quality non-Special Editions set is no choice at all, and George Lucas fucking knows that.

I'll post the videos of all the changes here in a sec. This rant has gone on long enough.

#9 - HP Tablet Back from the Dead

'Dead' HP tablet comes back to life with help of hackers, deal-seekers - CNN

(CNN) -- For a "dead" gadget, the HP TouchPad keeps showing remarkable signs of life.

Nearly two weeks after Hewlett-Packard announced that it was discontinuing mobile devices and dramatically slashed the price of the TouchPad, customers are hunting them with renewed zeal.

The tablet has sold out, according to the company. Meanwhile, HP is considering making more of the devices -- and continuing to support them, despite the fact that independent developers are working to hack the tablets to run on Google's Android operating system, instead of the now-killed webOS.

"We have been surprised by the enthusiastic response to the TouchPad price drop, and we understand that many customers were disappointed that HP and our retail partners ran out of supply so fast," HP spokesman Mark Budgell wrote in a blog post Monday.
Like virtually every other device in its class, the HP TouchPad failed to make much of a dent in the iPad-dominated tablet market when it was released early last month.
But after HP announced August 18 that it was discontinuing mobile devices, remaining TouchPad inventory was slashed to fire-sale prices: $99 for a 16-gigabyte model and $149 for a model with 32 gigabytes of storage.

The device, which had originally sold for about $400 more, all of a sudden became one of the most sought-after item in the gadget world.

Via Twitter, Budgell let potential customers know Monday that there's no official word when, or if, HP will be making more TouchPads.
"Don't rush...no availability today," Budgell wrote.

He said there would be more information "in the next few days" on whether more of the tablets will become available.
But in an e-mail Monday, a spokeswoman described TouchPads as "temporarily out of stock."

For gadget lovers, the discounted TouchPad is a tradeoff. The assumption has been that the discontinued device won't get software updates, there will be no new apps created for it, and webOS, the operating system created by Palm and purchased by HP, will essentially become a dead platform.

But for many, a device that got largely positive reviews and was selling for $400 less than the iPad was a powerful temptation to jump into the still-emerging world of tablet computing.

"The bottom line is that the TouchPad, right now, is worth $99. Even if it never sees another ounce of code added to it, a gadget whose software soul is forever frozen in August 2011," wrote Matt Buchanan, a gadget reviewer at tech site Gizmodo. "The TouchPad is the second best tablet you can buy, at any pricepoint. It nailed all the big ideas about what a tablet should feel like".
And things could get even better.

In an e-mail Monday, an HP spokeswoman seemed to keep the door open to supporting the machine in response to the massive interest.
"We expect that HP TouchPad owners can look forward to an over-the-air update that will enhance the platform and add functionality and a growing applications catalog," the spokeswoman said. "We plan to continue to investigate the best ways to leverage webOS software and grow the applications."

HP never released sales figures for the TouchPad and declined to do so in the e-mail. But quick discounts in July suggested poor sales, and at least one report from AllThingsD said retailer Best Buy sold only 25,000 of the 275,000 TouchPads it ordered.

Meanwhile, outside developers are trying to keep the TouchPad vital in their own way. The website Hack N Mod is offering a reward for anyone who can prove they've modified the tablet to let it efficiently run Google's Android operating system.
That would mean the "discontinued" tablet would all of a sudden be able to run updated software and continue to have new apps available even if webOS dies out.
By Monday, an Android "mod group" had released a video purporting to have succeeded. Wired reported that the team, CyanogenMod, said that the hack was relatively easy and that the hard part has been actually getting their hands on a TouchPad.
Which is the main trouble that potential customers still face.

On the blog post, Budgell addressed a concern many have expressed since the fire sale began: that people are scooping up dozens of the tablet at a time to turn around and sell them at a profit.

Some early customers have reported having orders confirmed by third-party retailers at or near the $99 or $149 price point, only to have that order canceled.
On Monday, the least-expensive new 16GB TouchPad on Amazon was selling for $239.99, and 32GB models were going for $265.
"If more inventory is available in the future, there will be an order limit," Budgell wrote.

#8 - Traffic App by MIT and Princeton Could Change Driving Forever

Traffic App by MIT and Princeton Could Change Driving Forever

Researchers from MIT and Princeton have developed a smartphone application called "SignalGuru" that uses the camera from a dashboard-mounted smartphone to capture images of traffic lights. Once the images are captured, they're analyzed to detect whether the lights are green, yellow or red and then that data is passed along to other nearby SignalGuru users.

Using the resulting data, the app can relay to a particular driver how quickly he or she will need to drive in order to make the next light. If the next light is already red, the driver can coast up to it slowly instead.

The researchers tested the app in Singapore, which uses dynamic traffic lights that change based on traffic levels and in Cambridge, Massachusetts, which uses dumb, old timed traffic lights spawned from the loins of none other than Satan himself (I live near Cambridge, believe it or not).

The results, according to MIT:
"By reducing the need to idle and accelerate from a standstill, the system saves gas: In tests conducted in Cambridge, Mass., it helped drivers cut fuel consumption by 20 percent."
That's pretty incredible, considering it requires no additional modifications to the car itself.

The app isn't yet available to the public and when it is, it'll have some challenges to overcome. For starters, it'll face the chicken-and-egg problem most other crowdsourcing apps face: You need to have enough people using it to make the data reliable. If I'm the only person on Memorial Drive using the app, I'll never know which upcoming lights are green or which of them are red. Actually, I'll just assume they're all red, since they're ALWAYS RED.

The other obstacle is that the researchers can't, in good conscience (and probably legally, too), release an app that tells people to speed up in order to make an upcoming light.

Still, the promise of cutting gas consumption by 20% may be enough to get a bunch of people to use this app, assuming it's properly marketed. It may not even need to be directly marketed all that aggressively to consumers anyway, as the researchers see the technology perhaps being integrated into existing GPS routing software instead.
And the technology's potential doesn't stop there: It could be extended to "capture information about prices at different gas stations, about the locations and rates of progress of city buses, or about the availability of parking spaces in urban areas, all of which could be useful to commuters."

#7 - RAGE

Rage Review

Looks cool.

#6 - Hurricane IRENE

National Hurricane Center - Hurricane IRENE

Ben didn't actually know about this but it's interesting and good to know.

#5 - Gamestop rips off Dues Ex customers

GameStop opens Deus Ex boxes, discards free online game coupon

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- Video game retailer GameStop is under fire for opening boxes of the just-released PC game Deus Ex: Human Revolution and removing a coupon from the publisher that would have given buyers a free copy of the game's online version.
Square Enix, which publishes DXHR (as the fans call it), announced the launch promotion on Tuesday. The coupon code was meant to give all buyers free access to the game on OnLive, a Web-based platform that enables gameplay on TVs, computers and, soon, on tablets. OnLive's cloud-based version of the game is priced at $49.99, the same price as a physical copy.

But on Wednesday, the blog GameSpy posted a story saying it had received complaints from consumers claiming their new DXHR boxes were opened and the OnLive codes were missing.
The article also included a photo of an e-mail sent by GameStop management instructing employees to "immediately remove and discard" the coupon. GameStop -- which also sells its own digital version of DXHR -- views OnLive as a rival.
GameStop (GME, Fortune 500) spokesman Matt Hodges confirmed the coupon-clipping to CNNMoney.
"Square Enix packed a competitor's coupon within the PC version of the game without our knowledge or consent and therefore we did pull these coupons," Hodges said in an e-mail. "GameStop's policy is that we do not promote competitive services without a formal partnership."

Square Enix declined to comment.

After the news broke, message board commenters on an OnLive fan site began speculating about the legality of breaking a game box's seal and selling it as new.
"The big issue here is that if GS is allowed to get away with this, what's to stop other retailers from doing the same thing[?]" wrote commenter Punkduck2064. "What if Amazon and Walmart removed the digital copy codes from the DVDs [they sold] simply because their competitors were the ones providing the digital copy."
GameStop initially stood by its approach, saying in a prepared statement that while game boxes "may have been opened to remove the coupon, we fully guarantee the condition of the disc to be new."

But late Thursday, company spokesman Hodges said GameStop had changed its policy after talking with Square Enix.

Now, GameStop says it will not sell the opened DXHR packages -- in fact, it won't sell any physical copies of the game at all until Square Enix ships GameStop a version without the OnLive coupon. GameSpot will continue to sell its own digital version of the game in its stores and online.

#4 - Steve Jobs Steps Down

Steve Jobs Steps Down
Steve Jobs Steps Down, Apple Shares Drop 5% After-Hours
The end of an era came Wednesday evening when Steve Jobs stepped down as CEO of Apple. Forbes Brian Caulfield has the story here, which includes the naming of Tim Cook, who has filled in for Jobs twice during medical-related leaves of absence including the current one, as CEO.

Jobs expressed his desire to remain as chairman of Apple’s board, a request his fellow directors will almost certainly honor. On Thursday the market reaction to the news, and the response from the Apple bulls, who have sent shares of the iPod, iPhone and iPad-maker on a dizzying run over the last several years, will be interesting to watch.

After-hours, following a halt on the news, shares of Apple dropped 5%, or $20.18, to $356.

The impact may be felt beyond Apple on Thursday. Keep an eye on shares of Walt Disney, where Jobs is a director and the largest shareholder.

Below, via Business Wire, is the letter Jobs sent to the Apple board:

To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple’s brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.

I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

Steve

#3 - The Trenches

The Trenches

The Trenches documents the tribulations of software testing with the precision tools of “the office comedy.” It has lots of characters and lots of things happen. We’re getting to all of that. For now, here are some mysterious silhouettes.

#2 - Mad Cat

Mad Cat

#1 - Zombie Engagement Pictures

http://strangebeaver.com/2011/08/the-best-engagement-pictures-ever/